White coat. Heels.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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