I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
