I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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