i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize