She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
People in love make me want to vomit
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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