ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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