Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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