guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
