I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
