FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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