You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
