good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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