two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
