would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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