I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
