so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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