CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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