My liver just broke up with me...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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