So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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