You really coming over, don't trick.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
