We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize