ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
