Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm both gender and math confused
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
