dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
