is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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