I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
