He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
