Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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