So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I can't turn off my feet"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot