just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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