this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize