Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
