FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
