i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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