she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
