While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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