4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
