put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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