i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
