it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
