I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
How external is "for external use only"?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
