Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
