FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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