I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
