it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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