Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize