She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
