is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
