the day after is always just damage control
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
