Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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