I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
