Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
