I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
