So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
