god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.