Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
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Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
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thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel