That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.