Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?

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(937): was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"? http://tfl.nu/gea9

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(614): View more from Ohio

You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year

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(614): You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year http://tfl.nu/i8j9

Replies (85) Good night (3230) Bad night (1459) Order T-Shirt
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates

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(978): If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates http://tfl.nu/qzzm

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(863): View more from Florida

just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud

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(863): just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud http://tfl.nu/54kw

Replies (11) Good night (4748) Bad night (701)
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(240): View more from Maryland

I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.

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(240): I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it. http://tfl.nu/okvp

Replies (4) Good night (4438) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
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(505): View more from New Mexico

sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap

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(505): sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap http://tfl.nu/vpaq

Replies (14) Good night (888) Bad night (4163) Order T-Shirt
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(919): View more from North Carolina

dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.

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(919): dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night. http://tfl.nu/52we

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?

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(+44): let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions? http://tfl.nu/wlcv

Replies (6) Good night (1433) Bad night (558)
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(937): View more from Ohio

she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.

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(937): she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest. http://tfl.nu/xty4

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(214): View more from Texas

You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.

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(214): You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate. http://tfl.nu/ezsl

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.

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(609): i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen. http://tfl.nu/t0rk

Replies (2) Good night (858) Bad night (1005)
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(909): View more from California

It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me

(626): View more from California

And a merry methadone to all

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(909): It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me (626): And a merry methadone to all http://tfl.nu/a55x

Replies (2) Good night (879) Bad night (392)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.

(303): View more from Colorado

Jesus Christ you're perfect.

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(307): Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday. (303): Jesus Christ you're perfect. http://tfl.nu/7qs9

Replies (4) Good night (813) Bad night (253)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.

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(503): I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20. http://tfl.nu/9ljc

Replies (6) Good night (1297) Bad night (249)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night

(212): View more from New York

Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate

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(908): My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night (212): Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate http://tfl.nu/bmji

Replies (4) Good night (1063) Bad night (236)

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