but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot