You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
