Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
